trying to survive

a couple of exhausting days.
had a great time, of course i did.
but im freaking out. cant get rid of the feeling that we wont get over it.
i am scared.
so tough to pretend like he doesnt exist. like i dont know him. like i dont want to be in touch.
like he doesnt mean a world to me.
jesus, cannot you just write me? its been a week since we last talked,
since we saw each other.
it seems like i cannot make it.
such a challenge to resist writing you.

i feel im getting older :P
gettin home after midnigt two days in a row is sick.
the mornings after are not the best ones.
not at all.
but screw it. i cannot just live on.

so glad i got to see el, a sweetheart of mine.
i missed you so much.
and it was kinda relieving to tell you all thats going on.
thx for listening!
hope to see you soon again!