its been a week

only a week.
but it seems to me like at least a whole month had passed.
hard to believe.
i feel so numb.
no feelings anymore.
and there is no way i could ever believe any of them again.
screw you all.

the thing is... i would still do anything to be with him.
and to make it right.
am i stupid?
i prolly am, but whenever the head tells me to forget, my heart refuses to take it.
how am i supposed to deal with it?

if it was a summer i would look great in bikini :-D

there is just one person that helps me get through this right now.
my babe paulit.
i would actually hung on a tree branch long ago without her.
(no, not really, but i was not far from that)
she is seriously saving me.
the all day trip to ostrava? she even made me eat after 5 days...
we had so much fun.
the most hilarious event was when her gps navigation told me i went over the speed limit :-D who knew that such things do that?
we even made some great deals.
and friday party? jesus, i was a drunk.
like a real one.
but again. she makes me stop thinking.
i dont have to feel worried it will take over me when with her.
how grateful i am!!
she makes me forget.
mm, i shouldnt use the word forget, cuz thats just impossible... but she helps me to bear with it.
try to get over the pain and look forward.
not back.
try to live on.
without him.
and she understands.

i had a JCC1 exam on wednesday. and i passed!
still cannot believe, cuz i havent studied a minute... there was no mood for that.
but i got C, which means 2, if you get it :-D
that was a satisfaction.

i miss you.
so freaking much.

the dreams i have about you and your fam are so live.
i am scared.